My favorite, from the Middle School 1st prize:
[name removed] (grade did an experiment to see if life can evolve from non-life. [name removed] placed all the non-living ingredients of life – carbon (a charcoal briquet), purified water, and assorted minerals (a multi-vitamin) – into a sealed glass jar. The jar was left undisturbed, being exposed only to sunlight, for three weeks. ([n.r.] also prayed to God not to do anything miraculous during the course of the experiment, so as not to disqualify the findings.) No life evolved. This shows that life cannot come from non-life through natural processes.
Well that sounds pretty scientific to me. I don’t know why silly scientists can’t see how that doesn’t prove everything. They’re too busy hiding bones in the “fossil record” to pay any attention to 8th grade research!
tim Says:
July 24th, 2003 at 8:35 pm
Well that obvious shows your ignorance and proves without a doubt that you are not built for working outside the house.
After all, since women do not make the equivalent salaries of men they OBVIOUSLY do inferior work outside the home.
Start pumpin’ out them babies, it’s all you’re good for.
athena Says:
July 25th, 2003 at 2:59 pm
a single guy says “what”
Karen Says:
July 27th, 2003 at 8:44 am
I too noticed the second prize in Middle School for proving that women were meant to be housewives. Judeged by men, of course. The study neglected that most women can be housewives and work outside the home and do BOTH jobs better than most men. (Jaded viewpoint on my part, but hey.)
Trina Says:
July 27th, 2003 at 10:30 am
bwahahahah, Athena.
diane Says:
July 28th, 2003 at 8:10 pm
Okay, I just thought I’d throw in another two cents here…
After poking around quite a bit on this site, I believe that it is a Landover Baptist-eque joke. The difference between this site and the Landover Baptist site is that the joke is better masked. In fact, you can read 99% of the site and not know they’re pulling one over on you.
How did I make this brilliant deduction? Check out their store at cafepress. They sell some stuff that’s pretty tongue in cheek – including thong underwear that says something to the effect of “Will you be my husband?”
The scary part is that the ridiculous nature of the stories isn’t what leads you to believe its all a big gag.
July 24th, 2003 at 3:20 pm
My favorite, from the Middle School 1st prize:
did an experiment to see if life can evolve from non-life. [name removed] placed all the non-living ingredients of life – carbon (a charcoal briquet), purified water, and assorted minerals (a multi-vitamin) – into a sealed glass jar. The jar was left undisturbed, being exposed only to sunlight, for three weeks. ([n.r.] also prayed to God not to do anything miraculous during the course of the experiment, so as not to disqualify the findings.) No life evolved. This shows that life cannot come from non-life through natural processes.
[name removed] (grade
Well that sounds pretty scientific to me. I don’t know why silly scientists can’t see how that doesn’t prove everything. They’re too busy hiding bones in the “fossil record” to pay any attention to 8th grade research!
July 24th, 2003 at 8:35 pm
Well that obvious shows your ignorance and proves without a doubt that you are not built for working outside the house.
After all, since women do not make the equivalent salaries of men they OBVIOUSLY do inferior work outside the home.
Start pumpin’ out them babies, it’s all you’re good for.
July 25th, 2003 at 2:59 pm
a single guy says “what”
July 27th, 2003 at 8:44 am
I too noticed the second prize in Middle School for proving that women were meant to be housewives. Judeged by men, of course. The study neglected that most women can be housewives and work outside the home and do BOTH jobs better than most men. (Jaded viewpoint on my part, but hey.)
July 27th, 2003 at 10:30 am
bwahahahah, Athena.
July 28th, 2003 at 8:10 pm
Okay, I just thought I’d throw in another two cents here…
After poking around quite a bit on this site, I believe that it is a Landover Baptist-eque joke. The difference between this site and the Landover Baptist site is that the joke is better masked. In fact, you can read 99% of the site and not know they’re pulling one over on you.
How did I make this brilliant deduction? Check out their store at cafepress. They sell some stuff that’s pretty tongue in cheek – including thong underwear that says something to the effect of “Will you be my husband?”
The scary part is that the ridiculous nature of the stories isn’t what leads you to believe its all a big gag.